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GAME Gears of War 2                


Overall Appeal

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     -Now who wouldn’t want to have a chainsaw on the end of the enormous phallic gun? I mean sawing grubs in half while the blood flies all over the screen while your screen screams in the grubs face is quite satisfying. (IN the most masochistic way)

     -The only thing that is interesting or different than the first one is that your partner, Dom (who is not gay because he reminds you every 5 minutes that he is looking for his wife) goes into the hive of the grubs as opposed to standing on solid ground fighting grubs.    -Your character (Marcus) has the surprising skin qualities of a tank, and can take any kind of abuse (like a rocket to the face) and still get up. Even if you just so happen to be killed (your partner will tap you on the head (like when you were playing duck, duck, goose when you were young) and you are back to health again. That being said, your partner (if you are playing it through solo) has the attention span of a gnat and normally is distracted by the latest shiny object rather than helping you as your lungs pop through your skull. The lesson is, don’t get shot.

     -that brings me to the next point, chest high walls. Every battle is won through chest high walls. Things that fall from the sky form chest high walls, buildings that fall down form chest high walls and the chest high walls can repel any firepower that someone might shoot at it.

     -OH yes, and we cannot forget about the Queen who believes that the grubs are superior in every way. Except for the fact that in the first game Marcus and Dom kicked the grubs asses and then the grubs decided to come back for more in the second. Hmmm....two guys kickin’ ass in two games, taking on hoards of baddies and they still think they are superior.

     -All that put aside...  



Fun Factor

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     -This game kicks ass! It is incredibly addicting. I can play for hours with friends when they come over, I can play with people online, and try to unlock all the ways I can beat the tar out of grubs while they crawl away. I found myself thinking about what I wanted to smack the grub with while he’s trying to crawl to his pal to have his head patted. Not so fast I would say!



Replay Value

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     -Although I haven’t played the game for a while, I would still consider keeping it in my collection (or until the next one comes out) because like I said before, after a rough day, beating the tar out of a grub is remarkably freeing. 




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     -If you like the colours grey and brown, have I got a game for you! Blood gore and all the rest, pretty realistic (or what I would expect when fighting bug like creatures)




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     -Playing online in the different setting is excellent...very simplistic. Kill grub, chest high wall, pat your friend on the head. Listen to hilarious banter from your guy as he head shots a guy halfway across the screen.          



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     -The story is very straightforward, bugs are sinking your city, you go and kill grubs and sink it yourself...take that!    




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     -Marcus has the personality of Oscar the Grouch. He has the ability to feel compassion, but he lacks the ability to express it. He is about as cuddly as a cactus.                                 



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     -You can’t customize anything except on online you start with chainsaw gun? Or other gun? Oooooo.  




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     -This is an over the shoulder 3rd person shooter that allows excellent camera angles to own everyone around you. 





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     -Trigger shoots...that’s all you need to know. 



Game Mode

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     -I believe the phrase “follow path and shoot everything that moves” would be the correct reference for this section.                       


Gameplay Options

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     -You can make it light grey and brown to really dark grey and brown.     



Progression of Difficulty

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     -Eventually you do meet bigger and badder baddies...(that’s right, I said badder.) as you progress. This includes a Brumak, who you eventually get to steal...sweet!  



Minor Details

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     -Don’t get shot...that would be a minor detail.




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     -It’s a typical sounding musical interlude filled with hope and joy, and depressing when Dom finds his wife and has to kill her because she’s a mindless zombie. Whoops...should I have said spoiler alert?

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Reviewed By:
Also Available on:
Xbox 360
3rd Person Shooter
ESRB Rating:
Overall Score
Gears of War 2